Be Still

Be Still and Know that I am God
Psalm 46.10

I love that verse. Before I started to write I stopped and breathed the reality of those words. As a bipolar person, who generally errs on the manic side and rushes around firing on all cylinders, I frequently have to make a conscious effort to stop, breathe and connect with God. I know in my head that God is with me always, but in this hectic, mad, mad world full of distractions it's too easy to be woefully unaware of His presence. Life flows so much better when one is working with God and paying attention to the Holy Spirit.

It's been quite a time. Sometimes I wonder when it ever isn't 'quite a time'. Isn't there always STUFF going on that is challenging?  I can't actually imagine it any other way. All I do know is that without God to be my rock and firm foundation, my peace that passeth understanding, I don't think I could live it, or at the least I'd be thrown back several years, to the time of inpatient stays in psychiatric units. Thank you God.

Let's see. Rewind to last Sunday. That was really lovely actually. 'Tea' out. Are you a tea/supper/dinner person, just to digress a little? My sister's 'supper' and wouldn't dream of using 'tea' as a word to describe the main evening meal. I suppose ever since children - and ours are still only 12 and 13 - we have eaten en famille at around 6pm, and as we were living in the Scottish Borders amongst people who generally referred to the evening meal as 'tea' - that's what we got used to saying too. So, back to the tale - yes - last Sunday we were having a rare meal out (our ability to afford meals out has been majorly hit by the credit crunch). Our son D had chosen a local Indian eaterie (thanks Syhiba) to celebrate his 12th birthday. We used to frequent it quite a lot when the cash was flowing more freely. We were greeted like long lost friends and enjoyed a fine meal. Although D had stipulated there was to be no reference to birthday, or cakes or such like - the staff sussed out the deal and before you could say chapatti had delivered an ice cream in a cute plastic animal sporting a sparkler. D wasn't too put out - considering he really is not one for the limelight - and seemed to enjoy the whole experience.

Monday was D's 12th birthday. Hard to believe it. My gorgeous big boy. Made his favourite - chicken stew with dumplings, and a carrot cake which he requested. In the morning I had the treat of two lovely telephone conversations with my two amazing Aunties. Auntie Georgie - in her 90s, my beloved Auntie who was married to my Mum's brother, and Auntie Heather in her 80s - another beloved Auntie I have acquired through marriage. Both of them so wise and warm and wonderful. I am blessed.

On Tuesday, hubby D C resigned over difficult work issues. Now that has been challenging. Thank goodness I had a bible study with a group of women that day. I have been reciting verses from Romans - God will work everything for good, and Psalm 62:2 Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my strong fortress, I will never be shaken.

On Wednesday I did my regular story club for reception children at school. They are so full of life and mischief and utterly adorable.

Thursday morning saw me with the great gang of characters at Halifax slimming world and in the evening church 'Light' Group at my sister in law K's house. A peaceful evening with dear friends, sharing and praying through the stuff of life's rich tapestry.

On Friday I had my first Usborne book party at sis in law M's house. Lovely, and successful. Then to school to do story club and finally to a meeting about D's care plan for his epipens. Home to cook and at 10 out for an hour to dance along with the band at On the Square with my niece and friends. (My teenage daughter G  looked at me with bemusement and tired resignation as I gadded off in my glad rags - but man it felt good to be heading out for a dance in a spontaneous fashion....)

I lit a candle for my Mum on Sunday. She died 18 years ago to the day. It seems like yesterday and at the same time hard to believe the amount of time she has been gone. Bless her she is missed so much. My siblings and I have nine children between us - and Mum only got to spend a few months with the first - who was a baby when she died. She was a very special person who imparted so many good things to us. She was a devoted Mum who in many ways did not have an easy time of it. I so appreciate one of the main lessons she taught me and which was so quintessential Mum: every person is a human being of equal value and worthy of respect.

Thank you for everything Mum- June Patricia Annable Hall 16.6.29 - 18.11.94