I have been having the most wonderful series of celebrations for my 50th birthday which was in mid September...I'm still going. It's interesting to look back at my 30th and 40th. My 30th was a fairly splendid affair. The invitation was purple (still a favourite colour) with gold stars - and said across the middle 'aura' and then the invitation line - viv would be delighted etc was in small print across the bottom. It started with a lovely buffet meal at my mum's house in Yorkshire - the thrill of seeing a busload of London mates turn up in my little Pennine village was immense. Then I took the bus with my friends to the party venue at Dean Clough in Halifax where there was a jazz band and plenty of disco dancing on a dance floor which had this big gold star on it - and we projected images of space onto the walls. It was fabulous and I loved it - having said that I was indulging in all sorts of recreational drugs. That was the 30th. The 40th - was when I was living in Scotland. The children were 18 and 9 months old I was not at all well with my bipolar, and it was all too much. I arranged this disastrously over the top party - with marquee etc. My sister paid for fireworks and I was so unwell that I had to be taken home before the end of the night and by early the next morning was admitted to a psychiatric unit and parted from my children for three months. It was the low point of my life - a complete and utter nightmare.
Now here I am at my 50th. What a difference ten years makes. I was baptised in 2005 - and the transformation has been by no means instant. Of course there's been plenty of times when I have questioned and been impatient. God - are you really working in my life? I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt He is. Having accepted Jesus as my saviour, and asked God into my life, there has indeed been an amazing transformation. Praise God. It's a miracle to see how steady I am and how I have coped with all the excitement of all the little celebrations. One of them was a rare weekend with just Dorian - my husband and me - in Brussels - where we used to live when we were first married. It was incredibly special. I am still a bit wakeful in the night - hence this early morning blog - but I am confident that things will quietly settle back down to normal.
I thank God that His Holy Spirit lives in me, and that I am a work in progress. If I follow His still, small voice and listen to what He wants for my life I can't go wrong.
God is an amazing healer and counsellor and comforter - and I thank Him from the bottom of my heart for all He has done in my life. Help me please Lord to keep focused on You now and always.
